Spring - A Haiku
Crisp cool morning air
Bright sunshine warming my face
New life surrounds us
Today I officially re-signed the loan papers (yeah!) to hopefully get the loan on the house! (I say re-sign, because it was over a month since I started the process, and the papers had expired.) We're hoping to have an appraisal done tomorrow, and get the ball rolling! YIPPEE!!!!
I am also officially no longer a tax employee!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *happy dance* Saturday was my last day at my 2nd job! (Until October or so, when we start up again lol) I am SO relieved about that!!!!
I'm having a hard time this week with grief... Dad's birthday is Saturday, and life seems to be conspiring to make sure I grieve like I need to. Half of the songs on the radio Sunday as we drove had songs about fathers on them... I kept changing the station, much to the annoyance of my passengers (but they got over it, cuz it was MY car. lol) I think the reality of his death is sinking in a little more... and I'm sad. I miss his arms holding me. I miss him calling me "Pumpkin"...
My migranes are back, but I think that's mainly because my self-care lately has sucked. (Lots of pop, some caffinated, and icky foods.) Yesterday I started out my week by making goals for myself... goals for housekeeping (keeping some specific areas clean as I work on other parts), spiritual stuff (making a God journal... kinda like AW morning pages, only addressed to God.), self-care, financial, and then special goals... I think I'm going to do this EVERY week, because it helps me to stay focused.
Kim and I are also making plans for when she moves in here... Going through magazines and cutting out recipe books, talking about how we'll decorate (since we are single people, I think we should have a FUN living room. I was thinking lava lamps and hippie flowers, but people seemed frightened by that. I'll have to think of other "fun" designs". I don't wanna buy expensive stuff to decorate with, because Jakey is a 4-year-old male, and therefore utterly destructive.) I am feeling SO MUCH hope. It is amazing the difference having hope makes in your life...
I want to be the one bringing hope to those around me... giving them dreams to hold onto in the good times and the bad... encouraging them to make their dreams a reality.
I want to be the voice yelling "you can do it" when all others whisper "why even try?"
11 comments:
you already are that voice - just by who you are.
liked your Haiku
praying about the loan
pleased your only working one job again relax enjoy your extra hours doing what u want to do
I will be thinking about you on Saturday BIG HUGS
pray your migranes would stop
lava lamps are cool my cousin has one
remember you inspire me. I hear you saying "you can do it" often
big hugs
sounds like you're really feeling a wide spectrum of emotion lately--so much going on in so many areas of your life and psyche. good for you for staying with it all! you sound very present. and by the way, jana, you are definitely a fantastic "cheerleader," and i'm grateful for all the encouragement you offer me.
Neat Haiku! It's fun to try them. I did a study with Gwen last year of different styles of poems and she got to practice writing them. I had fun doing them with her.
who would be frightened by a lava lamp?
sorry I disappeared on you, and I have neglected my hottie people
love the haikus:)
it's such a charming poetry style!
sorry you have to grieve dear!
I just can't imagine the loss of someone that close in my life,I would be on my knees and yes memory hurts,nostalgia tyrannizes...
I hope you'll find ways to make this feel lighter and alleviate the pain thanks to being creative,remembering the good times, all the beauty of this bond.
sorry for the migraine,poor Jana!
I can empathize,I know how devilish they can be! oh my!
sending you lots and lots of spiritual anti inflammatories
maybe try to do acupuncture for them?
they appear just once a month with this treatment and sometimes even less!
thank you for your encouragement and for shaking me kindly!
maybe you're right, maybe if I do some Effort I'll change and really improve my behaviour in society
It's a training and adaptation
I've been alone at home for ages,I can't be super friendly and opened just like that!
I have to be patient:)
I'm feeling much better anyways!
it's funny that you say we're at the beginning of our life, you know I'm the girl who see the glass half empty alas ;o)
Maybe because I drink life with passion and too fast I forsee things, I see myself getting old,and time flying by...
so I often feel life's shortness and know I still have about 50 to 60 years to live if I'm blessed with a long life ;-)
but it wont be enough for all the things I'd like to do and that just drives me crazy!
I doubt myself a lot because it's in my nature I guess and the way I have been educated with a pessimist surroundings and as much as I adore them my parents rarely compliment me or support my skills, I can't remember feeling special or having a talent according to them and each child need their parents's good eyes on them to feel complete to trust they can do it.
all my life it was with me,now I know things better but it's in me,I always try to wash it away and it comes back to me!
But paradoxically or not I trust my soul,I just don't have much self confidence when I have to be exposed, when I am before others...
anyways,as for my business and yes it is of course about my artwork!
I want to be a full time artist,it's my dream so I have to work for this, but having the dream to be a mom at the same time is hmm a bit crazy,I'll find a way to balance this!
giving life is much more important to me!
Many blessings, have a nice day!
I wanted to add that I so can relate to being a Hope sharer/giver
Hope means so much, I would surely have killed myself a thousand time during teenage time without them!
Blessed be!
your haiku is beautiful, sending you a warm hug, yah for hope and ou are that voice ~ i hear it strongly every time i read your words, beautiful you :)
It is going to take a lot of time to heal, but you will get through this and from what I have read about James, you have great emotional support, not to mention the people who love you (which includes me.)
It's almost chemical that hope thing isn't it?
It's nice to read that you have so many positive things going on!
Great haiku, Jana ~ ((hugs)) - take as needed, my friend.
XOXO
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