Updates on Jana's Life

WOW! Life is busy but way fun!!!!

In news here:

I have completed several things from my 101 things in 1001 days project:
#3 Volunteer at WILL center or Special Olympics - Completed this today by volunteering at the Special Olympics. I worked at the volunteer sign-in tent, so didn't have much contact with the athletes or families, but it was really a great experience either way. Next year I'd like to interact more with the athletes.
#4 Volunteer at the ICU where my dad died, or at a CODA shelter - I tried to volunteer at the CODA shelter, but got no response when I e-mailed them about it. Felt deeply annoyed, so I volunteered elsewhere.
#15. Make a Craft with Aunt Martha - Changed from "Finish Wedding Scrapbook with Aunt Martha" after wedding scrapbook was destroyed. I haven't completed this yet, but will later this month. (I think)

We're preparing to reroof our house at the beginning of July, since parts of our ceiling have now collapsed. Scrubbing everything down with bleach to kill mold, scouting yard scales and begging on Freecycle for tools, and reading book after book about roof repair and replacement.... this is our married life at the moment. I can't wait to have this all FIXED!!!

I'm learning more and more Arabic, which makes me feel happy inside.

We're doing a lot of yard work, so our yard is looking MUCH better. I'll post pics some other time.

I've discovered that my social anxiety has gotten worse. Now not only does the thought of speaking a foreign language to someone I know make me ill, but the thought of making a new friend makes me want to projectile vomit with fear. (Okay, that was a little bit overdramatic, but seriously... I was sick to my stomach and in tears Friday after trying to make a friend.) Why is it that I can learn strange foreign languages, program databases, organize anything that I see, and make an A in honors English... but basic social interactions make me physically ill? I discussed this with my friend Pam, and we delved deeply into my childhood experiences with rejection, and how vulnerable friendships make me feel now. I'm not really sure where to go or what to do with this issue, but it will probably be discussed (or re-hashed) on my blog at later dates. If I had time, I would REALLY like to do some intuitive collage regarding this... maybe tomorrow afternoon.

Now it's time for bed... I'll try to post on here more often and be a better blog-reader, but no promises. Econ 100 will be starting this Monday and I'll have 4 quizzes and one final exam each week... I'll be a bit busy. LOL

Neglect & Commitment

In looking at my house today, I came to a deep realization...


The office, the one room in our house devoted to my hobbies and used almost exclusively by me, is the worst kept room in our house. It isn't just a little messy, or a little trashed... It is completely and utterly out of control.

I still have the contents of our bathroom cabinet in my house from renovation time in August. I believed we were going to finish the renovations soon, which involved lifting the sink up again, and just never bothered to put the stuff back below the sink again.

I also never put the equipment away. Notice on the floor a shovel and the red power tool (jigsaw, I think), and the blue bag filled with manuals about plumbing and other home improvements.. Also notice the binder on the floor, which was meant to be my collage journal book... randomly tossed away.

I have no excuse at all for the other two areas. My computer area is a complete disaster. In my defense, the videos laying all around WERE in a nice tidy pile, but I knocked it over. *sigh*

And the table area... wow. I have no words for this.


This housekeeping tells a lot about me. The rooms used for everyone's benefits are far cleaner. The clutter in them is much less and much newer. They have been vacuumed more recently. They are cared for, a reflection of how I care about others, about "us" as a whole. The room I use is neglected, it's contents scattered carelessly, and the lowest on my priority list... a reflection of how I treat myself.


This holiday weekend I am making a commitment, to ME.


I commit to take only one friend to one destination (Kim to church) and no other errands on behalf of others.


I commit to working first and foremost to clean in my office, purely for my own benefit and sanity.


I commit to restablishing a solid pratice of daily collage. I commit to getting all of my supplies together and a bit more organized (but not anally organized.)


I commit to taking time to chat with God, my strongest supporter.

I commit to doing this all at my own pace, while still enjoying myself with fun things along the way.

GOAL!

Today I've been looking over my list of 101 Things in 1001 Days, and checking out my progress. A few that I completed at least part of:

6. Crochet 2 garments for myself (a sweater, skirt, etc... something big) (0/2) - White shrug finished in September

32. Take one dance class or buy another dance video - Finished Cha-Cha classes 10/28 (By the way, these were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fun!!!!!! We've already signed up for another class next month, East Coast Swing!)

78. Make a budget - Done 10/3 (For all the good it did us... with the job changes, that did NOT go well!)

A few that I've made progress on:

1. Read the entire Bible - On Deuteronomy 22
2. Memorize one scripture from each book in the Bible (3/52) - Genesis 1:1, Exodus 14:14, Leviticus 26:13
30. Complete Spanish the Easy Way - On Chapter 21 (I was on 20 when I started back at it... slow progress, but better than nothing!)
42. Make and keep one e-mail penpal for at least 6 months - Started chatting on Oct 23 (And in Spanish, even!!!! Does this make up for my lack of progress on #30? lol)
45. Go to 10 community events (for fun, not business) (2/10) Farmers Market, Asian Cooking Class, (I haven't been to either of these in over a month, but they are both excellent things to do.)

So, yeah. I feel like a bit of a loser for not doing more, but I have had a lot of other things going on in the meantime.

In other news, my work is going better... James's schedule for work may be changing yet again (we'll see) now that one member of management there has been suspended w/o pay after being arrested with marijuana, and another was fired today for sexual harassment... I'm loving dance classes and life in general... looking forward to Halloween weekend at Kim's house, which is always an adventure lol.

Okay, I'm off to bed now... love to you all, and apologies for not bloghopping at the moment... sooner or later I'll get back in the swing of this!

Vision Board

Suzie challenged us to make a dream/vision board, and since I had been meaning to do that FOR EVER, I decided to jump in!!!

Here is what I made:


I really want to start taking care of my body. I want to start using moisturizers and natural treatments to keep my skin from being damaged by dry air, wind, and sun. I want to care about myself.

Of the entire board, THIS is the area that defines me at the moment. The words on here say:
"It's Gro Time"
"It's time for your DIRT MANICURE" (I love this, as I rarely wear gloves to garden lol)
"Every blade of gras has it's angel that bends over and whispers, 'Grow, grow' - The Talmud"

I want to enjoy the mild weather of spring and get this yard in shape. I want to plant flowers and veggies, and a lilac bush would be lovely too. I want to make my yard a place to be proud of!!

I have got to get my house organized, it is driving me INSANE.

I want to enjoy my relationship with James and encourage that relationship to grow and deepen. Although we have not officially decided to have kids, I also want to prepare my life so that we'll be ready if we DO make that decision.

All month long, my pastor has been preaching about abundance and living life with passion... this basically sums up how I want to live my life... with gusto!!


I have GOT to have one of these bed sets. I will save up my money, and I will have this set IF IT KILLS ME. I'm leaning toward the one on the bottom left, with white walls, red carpet (eventually) and red & black decorations in the room.

Simply Spring!

Today I had the day OFF from work! YIPPEE!!!!

My knee was feeling a bit better, so I decided to celebrate spring by simplifying and cleaning my office. Here are some before and after shots!

Game Corner - Before:
Game Corner - After:
Bookshelf - Before:
Bookshelf - After:


Doorway - Before:

Whole side of room - After:

Happy Easter everyone!

101 in 1001 Days

I have decided to participate in 101 Things in 1001 Days, where you make 101 goals and try to complete them in the next 1001 days (for me, by Dec 8, 2010). Here are my goals:

Spiritual/charitable goals:
1. Read the entire Bible - On 2 Samuel 6
2. Memorize one scripture from each book in the Bible (3/52) - Genesis 1:1, Exodus 14:14, Leviticus 26:13
3. Volunteer at WILL center or Special Olympics. Worked at ne 6/6
4. Volunteer at the ICU where my dad died, or at a CODA shelter Tried to volunteer at CODA - no reply from them. Volunteered at Ryves Hall instead
5. Visit Debbie-the-temp’s church for Shabat one Saturday. - DONE 8/30

Creative goals:
6. Crochet 2 garments for myself (a sweater, skirt, etc... something big) (1/2) - White shrug finished in September
7. Knit 2 garments or accessory for myself (0/2)
8. Visit the Swope Art Gallery
9. Collage one full picture -
10. Learn to use chalk pastels (Read through book)
11. Sew one item of clothing for myself
12. Try 5 new forms of art (2/5) - Beading!! Quilting!
13. Take one non-painting art class
14. See Phantom of the Opera performed. (Or similar show)
15. Make a Craft with Aunt Martha
16. Submit 10 photos to contests/publications (0/10)
17. Submit 10 poems to contests/publications (0/10)
18. Finish afghan for bedroom

Health/Wellness goals:
19. Exercise to Dance Off the Inches: Sizzling Salsa once in it's entirety
20. Hike every trail at Turkey Run State Park Trails to do: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10(1/10)
21. Buy one container of DHC deep cleansing oil for my face
22. Use entire container
23. Find a good facial moisturizer
24. Learn to do 2 new things with my hair (0/2)
25. Fix bike & ride it around the park
26. Train Sarah-doggie on her leash
27. Floss teeth every night for 30 days (0/30)
28. Take Sarah-doggie to the vet

Learning goals:
29. Complete Read & Speak Arabic for Beginners (Chapters 0/?)
30. Complete Spanish the Easy Way - On Chapter 21
31. Take an ASL class or watch every ASL video from the library
32. Take one dance class or buy another dance video - Finished Cha-Cha classes 10/28
33. Learn to fire & take care of a handgun
34. Read Hamlet (Acts 0/5)
35. Take Keyboard lessons
36. Complete XML Tutorial (Lessons 0/16)
37. Complete XML Tutorial #2 (Lessons 0/11)
38. Complete CSS Lessons (0/22)

Social goals:
39. Visit 101 new blogs and comment (17/101)
40. Talk to 101 complete strangers (8/101)
41. Have one Video chat with someone in ASL
42. Make and keep one e-mail penpal for at least 6 months - Started chatting with
43. Completely clean out Hotmail inbox - DONE 4/1/08
44. Completely clean out Yahoo inbox
45. Go to 10 community events (for fun, not business) (3/10) Farmers Market, Asian Cooking Class, International Education Week
46. Add delicious & technorati tags to my posts for 30 days. (0/10)


Domestic-ish goals
47. Make 101 new recipes (20/101)
48. Find 30 new veggie recipes that don’t suck & post them on my blog (5/30)
49. Finish painting kitchen
50. Decorate living room in cool stylez
51. Make my own salsa - DONE 8/26
52. Can some green beans
53. Go to one workshop/retreat/apprenticeship at Hobbit Gardens
54. Make a mojito from scratch
55. Try 20 recipes using cilantro (3/20) Lemon Cilantro Corn
56. Make a recipe book - DONE!
57. Bake a bundt cake
58. Invite people over for five sit-down meals (1/5)
59. Organize art room/office
60. Kill all poison ivy in back yard
61. Completely clean up back yard
62. Plant flowers in flower beds - DONE 6/5
63. Make entire yard look presentable

Travel goals:
64. Hike at every state park in IN (2/24) Done: Turkey Run, Shades
65. Crawl through the wolf cave at McCormick's Creek
66. Camp out with James - DONE Summer 08
67. Hike at a mountain
68. Take James to KY - DONE Summer 08
69. Try 15 new restaurants (6/15) - European Grill, Crazy Buffet, Thai, Tokyo Grill, BBQ Smokehouse, Taj Mahal
70. See Cirque du Soleil perform
71. Explore 10 new back roads near my city(0/10)
72. Hike at Mammoth Caves - DONE Summer 08
73. Geocache
74. Visit 5 new states (0/5)
75. Visit 10 new places in my city (0/10)
76. Take Sarah-doggie hiking with us 5 times (0/5)

Financial Goals:
77. Record all spending for 2 weeks, and analyze
78. Make a budget - Done 10/3
79. Stick to a budget for 1 month
80. Pay off car
81. Pay off debts

Business goals:
82. Read one book about copyright issues
83. Make 500 ornaments/crafts to sell by Christmas (6/500)
84. Make 1000 ornaments/crafts to sell before Smmer '09 (6/1000)
85. Investigate shops to sell too
86. Investigate craft fairs to sell at
87. Read one Cloth-Paper-Scissors and try each technique mentioned
88. Learn to embroider - DONE!
89. Learn to applique
90. Alter at least 10 items of kids clothing (0/10)
91. Create a Jana’s Jewelz website
92. Customize website & add order forms.
93. Create a Jana’s Jewelz Etsy site - DONE 3/29/08
94. Customize Etsy site

Personal/random goals:
95. Make living will
96. Do target practice at a shooting range
97. BUY A CAPPUCINO MAKER!
98. Buy electronics fun kit to play with
99. Take 10 crazy pics of myself (1/10)
100. Read God’s Politics
101. Make new list when this is done!

Life - Some Thoughts

Today is a slow-moving Tuesday, the perfect time to be quiet and reflect.


I found these questions on Tammy V's site... and decided they would be just the thing to start my week.


What is perfect in your life?
-Perfect. Mmm. Perfect is a strong word. I don't think life is ever truly perfect... but how about we say "really nice"? Some really nice things in my life: I'm able to focus on my artistic endeavors a lot more. I'm learning to feel more secure in James's love, and learning how to show him my love. We're trying to learn how to put God into our marriage, and although both of us are pretty clueless, it'll be a fun trial-and-error thing. Also, I'm a newlywed, so I have to be honest and tell you... Sex is also VERY nice. (Am I allowed to say that word on my blog? LOL)

What about life is important to you?
-FREEDOM! I love having the freedom to be myself, to express myself, and to follow my dreams...
-Making a difference in the life of others.

What is your supreme or divine purpose for this life?
-Umm... I'd have to say that my purpose seems to be to love people that everyone else has given up on, and not give up on them.

If you could create a perfect life for yourself, what would it look like?
-NO MORE OFFICE WORK!!! I would be able to make my living selling art, with friends and family joining the fun & profits... be able to volunteer to work with kids again, and enjoy time with my hubby just hanging out. Ooooohhhhhh and I could TRAVEL selling my art... I love travel!

What would you be doing in your life if you knew you absolutely could not fail?
-I'd definately quit my job to totally focus on creating art.

What do you really want to be doing with your life?
-I'd like to be helping more people... volunteering, or just chatting with people who need a listening ear.


If you didn't have to work for a living what would you love to do.
-TRAVEL!!!!!! Meet more people! Volunteer!


If you were just given $10 million what would be the first thing you would do?
-Fix our house, and then travel to the UAE to visit my friend Asma. Oh, yeah, I'd do all of those things AFTER I quit my job.

What do you need to think about differently to have the life your desire?
-I just need to keep working towards it... small steps, here and there, will eventually yield results. Right now we're working towards getting caught up on our bills... then we'll work on paying them off! I'm also making artistic creations whenever I can, and hope to have enough to schedule some shows this summer & winter.

Wednesday Wanderings

Repression. I think that's what I'm feeling at the moment. I've been trying to figure it out all day... I'm not sure what the feeling is that I've felt this week, but repression is probably it. I think my mind is just afraid to deal with everything at the moment... the holidays, and all that comes with it... missing my dad... and so on. So tonight I've decided to make it a goal this week to give myself time to feel. With all the running, entertaining, and so forth this week, I haven't had much time for myself. But now that the hustle has bustled, the house has been cleaned, (except my room, which still is a bit frightening but not nearly as bad), and everything is better... I have to stop, and look at what's going on inside me.

• Fear... my roomate has offered to sell me her house, and me just take over the loan and the deed. James will help me renovate it, and we'll have fun in the process. But I don't know ANYTHING about getting a loan, a mortgage, or that kind of stuff. I'm so scared. And she wants to move so soon, I can't wait forever to make the decision.
• Fear... because James is a big risk... because I don't know if it's faith I have in him, or just stupidity... because I want a forever kind of marriage... because I want all that God has for my life... because I can't trust myself to make the right decision.
• Fear... because I feel like I have no one to turn to so many times in my life. I feel so very alone in the practical things in my life. How a person gets a loan, how a person buys & sells a home, and how to do this whole relationship thing....
• Fear... because the decisions I'm making will change my life FOREVER. If I make the wrong choice, the consequences will follow me the rest of my life. If I don't make the right choice, I'll miss out on so much!! I WANT IT ALL! lol

Hmmm... that reminds me... what do I want?

• Love - I want love in my life. Love to give to others & the strength to give it. Love to give to friends, to family, and to those who are hurting. I want to receive love too.
• Adventure - I don't want my life to ever get boring! I always want to be trying crazy new stuff! Going new places! Doing nutty things "just cause I can"!
• Legacy - I want my life to impact the lives around me. I want my life to give others the hope, help, and resources they need to change their lives.
• Spiritual stuff - I'm honestly not sure where I want this to go. I believe that God wants to give us more spiritual stuff. And when I say spiritual stuff, I mean things like... annointing (the power of God added to your life)... discernment (God telling you stuff you couldn't otherwise know)... love beyond human love... but I also believe you have to want & ask for these kinds of things, and I'm not sure what I want to ask for. I'm afraid of my spiritual potential. (I'm afraid of my spiritual potential... I need to analyze that later. Hmm.)
• Healing - I want to continue to heal from the past, and I want to help others to heal as well. That's REALLY deeply important to me...
• Teaching - I live and breathe to teach. It doesn't even matter what I'm teaching... I just love to teach. Taxes, crocheting, foreign languages, Bible lessons, it doesn't matter... I love to teach! I always want to have something that I can teach to others.
• Growing - I always want to be more each day than I was the day before. I want to learn to excel at what I do. I don't want to become stuck in a rut! I want my inner woman to keep reaching for the stars!!!!

Categories: James, Life, Depression, Fear, Love, Healing, Spiritual, Dreams

Vision

I had been meaning to post this since Friday afternoon, but never really had a good oportunity. I just HAD to tell you all my good news!

SURPRISE!!!!!!

I have new glasses!!!!!

It's the first time I've gotten new glasses in 6 years, so I was very very excited! Wierdly enough though, the eye doc said my prescription had barely changed! I was even more excited then... thinking that I would have no trouble adjusting, no dizziness, no headaches...

Friday I went in to the eye doctor... got the glasses all fine-tuned for my face, walked out... and almost fell on my face! The difference was HUGE!!!! I was dizzy from it, and walked (very carefully) to my car, sporting my new glasses with their WICKED COOL magnetic sunglass attachments, and thinking... OMW! THIS is what he considers "almost no difference?!"


Then I got in my car, and noticed all this CRAZY stuff!!! My dashboard had dust on it! WHO KNEW? And my windshield had spots on it!!!! I never knew that. And suddenly I didn't need to look at my computer from only like 3 inches away! I never realized how close I'd been to the screen!!!

It made me think about how dangerous it is to not have a clear vision... looking back, as bad as my eyes had gotten, I really could have gotten in a serious accident! I could have died. Literally. They were that bad.

Prov 29:18 says "Where there is no vision, the people perish:"

I love something Tammy posted on her blog:

"Do you have a plan for your success? Have you written or painted or collaged or danced or sang it into life? It has to come out of your head (the abstract) into the world (the concrete). You have to taste it and smell it and touch it somehow."

That is so true. And what a perfect time to be thinking about that. So although it's a little bit early... let me just ask you...

What goals are you thinking about setting for yourself in 2007?

Categories: Pics, Dreams, Goals

Jana's Love Advice

Welcome to Love Advice with Jana. Tonight's love tip:

Watch what you write down!!!!!!

Take my day yesterday, for example. I'm at home, the roomate is peacefully sleeping. James comes to the door, and since the roomate is trying to sleep, James comes back into my room (nothing happened! He didn't even offer to massage my neck. Talk about a righteous guy!) to look for music with me. As we are chatting, his eyes wander up to to my journal page (mounted above my desk) and the sentences "I want to be honest with James. I NEED to be honest with James. I can't ask him to wait forever. I love him. I can picture us having an awesome life together. Am I ready? I hope so!" evidently jumped out at him. *blushing deeply*

I didn't realize I'd written so much on there... I just remembered saying that I needed to be honest with him. I just read it today, as I was starting to blog about what he'd seen, and was like "OH. *eyes huge* I totally forgot I'd written THAT." ROFL

He also saw this on my monthly to-do sheet:



and found my wedding binder, complete with sections divided up for bride, groom, decorations, food,....
Sooooo... I guess now I can check "Be honest with James" off of my to-do list!!!!! *still blushing* Maybe this was God's way of giving me a little *nudge* in the right direction? I'm flipping out now... but it's a good kind of flipping out! I also bought his Christmas present... *whispering* I got him a gift set with 5 different types of hot sauce... he and I both LOVE hot sauce, especially habeñero. I'm also still looking on Ebay for the really special present for him... I'll let you all know when I've found it.

Today's warm-fuzzy bonding question:

What Christmas gifts do you all get for the men in your life?

Categories: James, Love, Funny