Today has been a very full day. At the start of the day, Dad was doing very badly... not responstive when you talked to him or anything. I went in, talked to him, read to him (Hamlet is not great for shared reading BTW!) prayed with him, sang to him. My uncle and dad's girlfriend got there, and the nurse took me aside to tell me that stroke patients often end up having trouble with the muscles controling their breathing, and I needed to be thinking about what decision I would make if the need arose. Two other doctors asked the same question... one just of me, and then one asked the three of us (Uncle promptly burst into sobs. The doctor had to hug him. LOL Which isn't funny, but is funny, because the doctor is a tiny little woman about my size, and my uncle is big and burly and masculine.) I was afraid... so much responsibility on me, as the official "next of kin". I paced the hallway as I updated my mom, and saw the most BEAUTIFUL scene outside. The snow on the roof (i was on the 2nd floor) was undisturbed and sparking... and I felt peace.
By the time I left tonight, Dad's fever had broken (the infections are the worst concern at the moment, they think that Dad's artificial heart valve got infected and caused infected blood clots, which caused the stroke.), his temp had started to go down, and so I felt comfortable going home for the night. I told him I was going to leave, and he looked straight at me. When I started to walk around his bed to the door, his eyes (and head) followed me, and he waved his fingers at me. I gave him a hug, and he hugged back.
I feel unbelievably blessed today.
11 comments:
Oh, Jana - how wonderful he was able to wave his fingers to you and give you a hug back! Sending prayers and many (((hugs))) your way.
Jana - I will keep you all in my heart and will place your names on my shrine.
blessings to you all xoox
You're doing great, you strong woman you! Who do you have close by to keep you company when you need it? Make sure you have backup and some time set aside just for you. Many hugs and well wishes.
beautiful post. it moved me to read how gratitude and light are filling your heart at this challenging time. spiritual support is clearly coming through for you, and that is a wonderful thing.
good advice above... be sure to look after your own needs, including emotional support and Jana Time.
prayers and blessings,
eliza
Im pleased you felt at peace at this time
You are very much in my prayers at the moment
Big Hugs
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending prayers for him...and hugs for you.
Jana - I am thinking of you and your family. I know this must be so difficult for you! I will send all my positive thoughts your way!
I will definitely keep both you in my prayers.
I am just sorry you have to go through this. I know it must be difficult.
I have had you and your dad in my prayers since I glanced here yesterday. Isn't it neat how at the times you are overwhelmed the most, God shows up and gives you a special piece of himself to remind you He is with you. How awesome! Love you!!
I'm so glad God sent some beauty and comfort especially for you, Jana.
I think the greatest way you can honor your father, regardless of all the reprehensible things his illness made him do, will be to love all the children in your life. Which you already do. :-) I see you as a strong woman, who has a deep fondness for kiddos, and who will always try to love, nurture, protect and rescue the little ones around you. I admire that.
love,
Jami
hugs and continued prayers and a smile for peaceful beauty ...
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