This weekend was a bit of an epiphany for me (big word there, eh? *proud of self*) I put together a child's bed, helped Kim on a massive cleaning spree of her house, did my Mom's taxes (finally), and a multitude of other things...
But what really changed this weekend, is that I finally admitted to Kim (and to myself) just how out of control my life has gotten. I told her how the thought of trying to figure out my finances now makes me physically ill, how the thought of cleaning makes me want to sit and cry, and so on... I also admitted to myself how out of control I've let myself get emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I've been living my life in survival mode lately... doing just enough to get by, to not rock the boat, and appear like it was all together.
In exchange for the things I gave her (help putting together Jakey's bed/storage unit thingy, help cleaning her house, rides to several shopping places, etc.) she gave me back something I had totally lost... hope! Somehow as we drove around, talking about where we want our lives to go, I realized that my life really doesn't have to stay like this. As we cleaned her house, taking 5 hours and completely cleaning/organizing one room and making major headway in another, I got the energy to go home and get some cleaning done on my own house afterwords. It's still pretty seriously junked up, and will be for at least another week most likely, but it's better than what it was. Maybe even enough better that I will believe I can finish it.
Thanks for the reminder Kim... Things WILL look up... spring is here, with it's new life, in more ways than one.
4 comments:
What a cool thing! One of the reasons I love spring so much is because I always feel like I come back to life too. I also love spring cleaning, out with the old and in with the new. It's a season in your life but your gonna get through it. Hang in there!
((((hugs))))
(((jana)))
take care of you sweetie, in your own time and everything else will eventually fall into place ~ sending you warmth and a whole lotta love : )
spring is so renewing, it is the best time for healing i think ...
wow u had a busy and productive weekend
hunny are u taking your happy pills?
Bless Kim she sounds a great supportive friend Im pleased
i find that when things feel overwhelming, the sickening factor is abated considerably if i just do something, anything--take an action in the direction of resolution. stuff can seem so huge when i'm either stuffing it down or worrying it over. it gets much smaller immediately when i take a step. oh, and writing or talking out my fears helps a lot. so... good work! rah! rah! rah! may your sense of hope endure, and may you continue on the road to relief!
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