Have you wondered how I have been?
Well, other than BUSY AS HECK (obviously... I've barely blogged and not bloghopped much either), I have been:
ITCHY!!!!!!! I have poison ivy ALL OVER!!! I have it on my arms, legs, belly, and I think I have it on my neck, face, and shoulders too! This is all quite a pain.
Angry. At God... because of my Dad. I ranted to him during church Sunday night about that, and then more Monday night. I feel like God appreciates honesty, and he and I are getting along much better now.
Thoughtful - My life dramatically changed the summer when I was 12 (my parents split up and then went back together) and I barely even remember it... I just know that EVERYTHING changed that summer. My relationship with my grandparents completely fell apart (we lived with them for the summer... and I was REALLY bad at that age... as in, emotionally disturbed.), I decided God didn't suck, and learned a lot of hygene things I didn't know before. I want to ask my mom more about that summer... All I remember is joining a BMG-type tape club, and my Grandma telling my mom I needed to be spanked.
Emotional - My unofficially-adopted daughter M turned sweet 16 yesterday!!!! She is growing up, and learning to heal from her past... but I had to sit and watch someone who "loved" her tear her down, and that was VERY hard for me. Mean people suck.
Introspective - I noticed a vicious cycle inside myself this week... I try to juggle to many things. I do great for a while, until something changes... and one of the juggled tasks falls and splatters on the ground. I feel insecure because I've failed. Even the SLIGHTEST criticism about this subject drives me insane. I feel incompitent... so I sign up for more tasks, to prove that I don't suck. And so continues the saga of juggling.... Must work on breaking this.
Well, other than BUSY AS HECK (obviously... I've barely blogged and not bloghopped much either), I have been:
ITCHY!!!!!!! I have poison ivy ALL OVER!!! I have it on my arms, legs, belly, and I think I have it on my neck, face, and shoulders too! This is all quite a pain.
Angry. At God... because of my Dad. I ranted to him during church Sunday night about that, and then more Monday night. I feel like God appreciates honesty, and he and I are getting along much better now.
Thoughtful - My life dramatically changed the summer when I was 12 (my parents split up and then went back together) and I barely even remember it... I just know that EVERYTHING changed that summer. My relationship with my grandparents completely fell apart (we lived with them for the summer... and I was REALLY bad at that age... as in, emotionally disturbed.), I decided God didn't suck, and learned a lot of hygene things I didn't know before. I want to ask my mom more about that summer... All I remember is joining a BMG-type tape club, and my Grandma telling my mom I needed to be spanked.
Emotional - My unofficially-adopted daughter M turned sweet 16 yesterday!!!! She is growing up, and learning to heal from her past... but I had to sit and watch someone who "loved" her tear her down, and that was VERY hard for me. Mean people suck.
Introspective - I noticed a vicious cycle inside myself this week... I try to juggle to many things. I do great for a while, until something changes... and one of the juggled tasks falls and splatters on the ground. I feel insecure because I've failed. Even the SLIGHTEST criticism about this subject drives me insane. I feel incompitent... so I sign up for more tasks, to prove that I don't suck. And so continues the saga of juggling.... Must work on breaking this.
Artistic - I DISCOVERED PASTELS!!! They are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome!!!! I love them!! I bought a book about how to use them, a pad of special paper for them, and a set of chalk pastels (I have some cheap oil ones, but they suck... not sure if it's because all oil pastels suck, or just because these were cheap ones?)
Well, I have way cool news to share later, but for now I will leave you with this lovely pic of my first creation using pastels:
5 comments:
I pray that you get relief from your poison ivy soon
Im sure its healing to rant at God sometimes
Happy Birthday to M
My friend I think you need to learn to say No I pray that God helps you with this
I really really really love your flower
and I want to know what the important news is :) talk about a cliff hanger
Hi Jana - just a quick note about oil pastels - they don't all suck!! I love them - my favorites are from Binney Smith - the Crayola company. They make great oil pastels - smooth, easy to smudge, very nice!! And not horribly expensive either.
Oooohhhhh easy to smudge... Thanks Tammy! That's why I didn't like the cheap ones.
Jen, actually, no one even has to ASK me before I commit to stuff... I volunteer to prove my worth. Must stop that. *sigh*
hope your itchy eases soon, poor you ...
there are loads of wonderful oil pastels out there ... i heart pastels and your flower is so very lovely : )
hugs!
Gorgeous flower. Good luck with the juggling. I've been in that place too. And even better luck with finding your self-worth before having to prove yourself. That can be very tough. I've learned.
Might I say - angels be with you?
hugs,
Wendy
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