Today at work, a coworker mentioned that she did not think Obama would live through all four years of his presidency. As we talked more about this, I learned that men had been arrested for possessing drugs and weapons, after making racist remarks and threats against Obama. (You can read about it here.)
This got me to thinking about a situation that happened this weekend. Kim and I were at Walmart (anytime we are together, a trip to Walmart must take place. It's like... fate.) with her son Jakey (age 6) when a black family walked by. Jakey was all like "*dramatic gasp of shock and delight* Mommy, they're black!" Kim was blushing and embarassed, which I must admit amused me deeply. She tried several times to silence him, resulting in an insulted "But Mommy, they ARE black!" from Jakey, and a "Yes, but you don't have to point it out!" from Kim.
Together, these two incidents are really making me think about race in our world. It almost seems like our country's attitude of "if you don't talk about race, it doesn't exist" happened in miniature with Jakey. Anyway, I think I'll do a blog series about race, in between more posts about our Mammoth Cave trip!
Today, lets discuss children and racism. If it were YOUR child pointing to a family and saying "Look Mommy, they're black!" with all kinds of awe and wonder, what would YOU have answered?
NOTE: Jakey has seen all kinds of people of other races before. He's lived next door to them, gone to school and church with them, shopped with them... He didn't suddenly see his first black person cuz his mom is some psycho racist... he just realized that there is a name for people who have skin darker than his, and he was excited at that knowledge. Any comments insulting Kim will be deleted.
9 comments:
I hope that I would never have to deal with that situation. I would never raise my children in such a way that they wouldn't know or be exposed to people of other races and cultures, no matter how young my child would be. To read about a child that had never seen "black people" tells me that child has been brought up in a very closed world.
Respectfully, Christine, I believe that Jakey is not at all sheltered. He was excited and delighted to see a black family, not disgusted, appalled, sad or hateful. I believe this shows he was raised properly. The shame is that his mother had to shush him, for fear that all the people in Wal*Mart would be offended by his little kid joy...which I think is Jana's point.
"I would never raise my children in such a way that they wouldn't know or be exposed to people of other races and cultures, no matter how young my child would be." Don't forget size, gender, sexual preference, political viewpoint, religion...Okay, that was a little cheeky.. *My* point is that children just lack tactfulness. No matter how they're raised, they're guaranteed to say something embarrassing, loud and in public. Young children do not have shame, and if/when you have any kids, one or all of them will do the same. It's nothing personal. Would that we could all be a liiiittle less "offended" and more like children in openness.
This just made ME smile. I thought it was cute & funny & after all, apparently the family WAS black. Nothing bad was said, unless it's bad to say that someone is black, and my black friends would laugh at THAT.
When my niece was very much younger, she drew pictures of her family & friends. She colored everyone differently. When asked about this (because her father is most definitely white) her response was that well, didn't WE know that people were all kinds of colors & didn't we realize her daddy was darker than us, even if white?
Kim is fine. Jakey is fine. Some people are black, some are white, some are Hispanic, some are Asian, some are mixed. To pretend we don't notice is silly. Of course we do. And it's okay. Kim should pat herself on the back for raising such a terrific son.
Never meant to imply that Kim was a racist at all. Just replying to the fact that it could be a wonder at all tells me that the Jakey hasn't been around a diversity of people.
And "Princess" a comment like "Don't forget size, gender, sexual preference, political viewpoint, religion..." just tells me that you think the whole issue of diversity is a big joke.
Not calling anyone a racist, just stating my observations.
Jana,
While I've always enjoyed reading your blog, I have to say that you can't expect to talk about issues like race without the risk of someone shooting from the hip. I'm sure your friend Kim is a great mom. But a pandora's box is a pandora's box, if someone reads things the wrong way, or takes offense to it, I say leave the comments up and let them make asses of themselves.
I would have said, "Yes, they are!" and left it at that. Must there be a dialogue about it? I guess if he asked questions I would go into it more. Demistifying differences is important to me, we may look different but really we're all the same. We're people. We just come in different colours!
Princess, YES! He did have little-kid-joy at knowing that there were black people at walmart with him, and that their brown skin gave them a name! And YES, children do lact tact, especially when they are in public, with grandparents, or hanging out with church folk. ALWAYS.
Smith Kaich Jones, I love how you put it... "To pretend we don't notice is silly. Of course we do. And it's okay. " YES! YES! That is exactly what I meant by this post... there has got to be a better way to move past our racist history than to just sweep all race under the rug, and pretend there is no race. Of course there is... seeing color doesn't equal discriminating based on it.
Suzie, with Jakey, there are ALWAYS more questions! LOL the kid is so stinking smart and curious, it's exhausting!
Christine, you'll get your own answer in just a sec... I'll put it in a seperate comment, so this won't get too long. But first, WELCOME TO COMMENTING!!!! I'm glad to have you on my blog! :o)
Christine, Jakey HAS experienced a great diversity of people in his lifetime, especially when you considering he was born in a town that was like... 98% white, and then raised in a town that is probably like 85% white. He has met all kinds of people just in his travels with me... Not just people of other races (which I know he has, in a variety of settings), but people of different economic levels, sexual orientation, religions, interests, political views, professions...
I take diversity VERY seriously and I believe diversity is more than having a "token black friend." Do you know why so many different "types" of people visit this blog? Because I WANT it to be a place where everyone can get to know each other! I WANT it to be a place where people who would normally be like "Oh, wow, that person is ____" and walk the other way or not know what to say will meet up and chat and argue and laugh and possibly hug! And in real life? The same. People who gather in mi casa are a very different group.
As far as the "don't insult Kim" part of this post, I do NOT under any circumstances believe that stating an opinion must involve insulting another person. No, your comments didn't cross that line, but they made me realize that some clarification was needed about the circumstances. And while I was at it, and since Kim DOES know about and possibly read my blog, I wanted to make sure no direct comments headed her way. Then I'd have to beat someone down, and that would be sad.
Blunt opinions, honesty, etc... I LOVE those!!!!! I thrive on them! Insults against another person or against another opinion? I don't love those. It's totally possible to state your opinion without tearing down another person... and I want everyone to feel loved and comfortable on my blog! I want them to see my blog as a safe place, to learn and bond and grow (and most likely argue lol) together with my other blogging friends.
On a side note, your link isn't showing your blog, and I'd love to see it (no, I'm not saying that to go there and attack your every post... I like your openness and spunk, and will probably love your blog.) if you even have one. But regardless, keep on commenting! This has been fun.
When my son comments on others around us, I answer him honestly. I like that he recognizes the diversity in our lives, especially since we've moved across the world with one of our ambitions being to live a life more intertwined with people from different backgrounds than ours.
My son (3 years old) doesn't know any race labels yet (we describe people in terms of real characteristics, not labels) so he'll say "that boy has curly hair like me" or "that person has hair like so and so" Somehow, he groups people by their hair type.
Children are vocal, with no filter. Why should we "shush" children who notice difference in their environment? As long as they are not being rude or embarassing (and that happens a good deal as well), just answer them, right? Like someone commented, noticing difference isn't discrimination.
I don't think it means that the child has been raised in a closed world. Heck, in NZ here we didn't have that many multi racial people until the mid to late 1980s. If my children said that I'd probably come with something like "yes and we're white, God made all colours of the rainbow for his people that's what makes us different".
Post a Comment