Today, my brain is tired and I don't feel like delving into my heart and soul to find something meaningful to post about. So, I'll just give you some random updates on my life:
*~* I have been SO hungry today!!! All I want to do is eat. It's driving me crazy.
*~* We are officially a one-car family at the moment. We tried to fix the water pump on James's car (about 3 weeks ago), but in the process of fixing that, we messed up the timing on it... spent two weeks taking it all apart and putting it back together again, TWICE, to try and fix the timing... finally yesterday a mechanic looked at it and fixed it real quick. Today, James left for work, drove about 15-20 minutes, and the car overheated and died. *sigh* Poor little guy had to walk 2 hours to get home. The car is currently waiting for us at a local gas station... after work, we'll drive it home in spurts. (Drive a little, stop to let the car cool down... repeat until home)
*~* I'm wearing a hat today!!!! On anyone else, the hat would make them look like a scary hoodlim, but on me it kinda makes me look like an elf. It's hard to look threatening with a cute wittle nose. Regardless, hats make me happy and I am overjoyed to be wearing mine. :)
*~* I'm currently obsessing about foreign languages, and may start reading blogs in Spanish just for fun. Anyone know a good site to find e-mail penpals?
*~* I feel like all of my life is spent working, and I'm contemplating declaring next week to be a "fun art week" where I'm not allowed to make any vases or ornaments. Those are starting to feel A LOT like work, instead of something fun that I can pour myself into.
*~* Today is day #9 without happy pills, and guess what? I'm doing just fine. I've had some close calls... almost yelled at James yesterday, but caught myself... reminded myself to pause, relax, and think before I reacted... almost cried at work yesterday, but did the same thing. So far, so good. The main thing I'm noticing so far, is that without happy pills i will need a lot more time to myself. I need "me time" to recharge myself a LOT more without happy pills.
*~*I feel really overwhelmed by how much other people need me right now... but that could just be because right now EVERYONE is needing me. Two people want to claim me every Saturday to be their exclusive friend for that time. I REALLY need time to myself, so I have to figure out a way to tell everyone that. I need a break. It's not that I don't want friends, or don't want to spend time with friends... but my garden is getting all weedy, I haven't had time to plant the beans I wanted too, more poison ivy is sprouting, and I'm going crazy!
6 comments:
You're a brave girl Jana going off your meds, praying for you here :-)
Jana, you are doing amazing. Not only are you getting off your meds, you manage to resist the temptation to yell and realize how important alone time with nature is for you and were tough with your personal boundaries. You really rock.
I hate it when things I do for fun turn into work too. It's one of the reasons why I'm not sure I want to sell my jewellery. It can steal the joy.
Glad the season without happy pills is working for you. I took my antidepressants all through all 4 babies. The midwife said it's actually worse to go off them once you are expecting because of the side effects. I take zoloft. If you're not sure about your particular medicine, make an appointment with your OB/GYN to discuss pregnancy issues. I liked the midwife better than a doctor. Doctor was way too stuffy, midwife has lots of love and compassion.
Be sure to make that time for you, regardless of your friends and their needs. You and James come first. Sorry about the car. Been there, done that. Hopefully you can get it fixed soon.
I love chives and I miss not having the plant where we live now. It's great on all sorts of stuff! YUM!
/hoping you don't have a radiator leak, that it's just a cracked hose or one that was accidentally jostled out of place when the timing belt was adjusted. Those are much cheaper and easier to replace. :-)
Can you believe you've been off your meds for over a week? I think sometimes the idea behind medication is for you to be able to see how you were behaving when you were off the drugs, and be able to recognize warning signs, and then you'd be able to live without them. Sometimes they're a lifelong necessity. I was just rambling about that, 'cause I don't have any advice. Just think it's cool you are noticing when you are lashing out and are able to change your behavior. /proud of you
you are doing quite well and trying your best and I am sending you all my best wihes and thoughts and good energy in your way to help you somehow, very friendly, me
Good for you, Jana, for going without your happy pills. Hope you are still doing well. "Me time" and setting boundaries, even with friends, is definitely important. Wishing you all of the best.
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