The Dream

I am in an unfamiliar nursing home. A person in a wheelchair in front of me turns around to chat. We have something we need to do, so we start down a hallway. Another person grabs her wheelchair, and begins to pull her down the hall. She turns and grabs my chair, and our little group takes off. I look in the doorways, searching for my grandma's room. This act feels familiar... I've dreamed this before. We pass my Aunt Ferol, and I duck my head. I vow that on the way back I will stop to tell her about the wedding.

The wedding is over, and the reception has begun. Suddenly I realize we haven't had the group photos done. I race through the church to find and change back into my dress. Along the way, I find my father and tell him to put his dress clothes back on. His hair and beard are dark, and he is healthy. I also find my mother, sitting in a wedding dress in a pew. I cannot, however, find my cousin, who is supposed to be doing these pictures. I complain to my mom "And people wonder why I don't trust my family... they don't get paid, so they forget things. I would forget things too." My aunt Barbara hears all of this, and nods in understanding.

I walk into another room, and hear the words "You may now kiss the bride!" I rush around my grandma's coffin, rushing to give James the kiss... but it isn't James. As I take his head in my hands, I realize it is my grandpa, blindly smiling at this. As I let him go, he leans down to kiss my grandma in her coffin.

I wake up, still surrounded by the gloom from my dream, to popping sounds. We have been heating the house with our oven, (leaving it on and the door open) to save on gas bills, just like my roomate and I did during the first part of our winter last year. This morning I realize the popping sounds are coming from the oven... sparks are coming from it. I hurry to shut off the oven, and the sparks subside. I feel ashamed... and distraught. I tried so hard to help our financial situation, and instead I made it worse.

I walk back to my nice warm "bed" on the couch... and stumble over my full glass of water. WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO WRONG?????

I look out the door, at the newly fallen snow... when i wake up this morning, the light will reflect on the snow, sparkling new and clean... the world will be happier, cleaner.... there is hope.