Last night I went home, and SLEPT.... it was wonderful. I read half of a Star Trek novel, and then slept some more.
I did not do any form of wedding preparations.
And you know what? I didn't care. Lol
Today is a new day... full of Freecycle pickups as I clean the crap out of my house... dropoffs of junk at charities... laundry catch-up... and wedding dress pattern pinning. (I refuse to cut anything until my mommy has checked for mistakes.)
I've decided that I can't keep pushing myself like I have been... I've literally pushed myself until I've made myself sick... twice. The wedding will go on if my house isn't clean... my friends & relatives will deal with the mess. (It's not what I wanted... if I can't get the church decorated... if Brit can't/wont do my hair or the bridesmaids... if I don't get the church invited until Sunday... if I don't get all the invitations sent out that i meant to...
The wedding will not go on, if I am hospitalized for unmercifully abusing my body until it gives out.
Goal #1 of wedding preps is now to keep myself healthy and sane.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still seriously depressed... I think this is the worst I've been since my Dad died. I can't talk to anyone about it... when I try, I just get laughing comments about "wedding issues" and "Bridezilla". My friends have pretty much abandoned me, and I'm sure my mom is tired of listening to me whine.
So, I could use hugs today.
2 comments:
(((((((((huggies))))))))) for Jana today!!!!!!
Honey, you are not a bridezilla and frankly, your "friends" suck!!! Don't worry about the house being clean or whatever. Debby, Gwen, Noah and I can decorate things Friday and Sat.
But you are right. If you keep doing too much, you will end up in the hospital. Focus on the dress ok. Let the cousins do the rest! You can whine to me all you want to!
BTW, where are your bridesmaids? Shouldn't they be helping you with this stuff??
(((((jana))))))
hugs honey!!
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