Grief

This week has been a very hard week for me...

For the first time, it really sunk in that this will be my first holiday season without my Dad. I have felt so alone in this... and I don't even know how to tell the people in my life that I AM hurting, that I need their support.... so I wrote a poem.

This, BTW, is the un-edited, totally raw version... I plan to edit before I show it to anyone else.

Grief

How can I tell you,
That I’m hurting today?
You’re so busy living your own life,
How can I ask you to stand with me,
As I grieve for the dead?

How can I share with you you,
the pain I feel inside?
When you see me as your strength,
The one who needs nothing.

How can I show you,
that my grief is never “done,”
When it pops up at times
That seem to make no sense.
When I smell his favorite cologne,
When a man in a beard walks by,
When a story makes me think of him,
When I know a dirty joke would make him laugh.

Instead I walk to the cemetery
A place where the dead still live.
I curl up beside his stone,
Finally opening my heart,
Displaying my pain.

And in this, the most lonely of places
I am surrounded by all the comfort I need.
The sun embraces me warmly,
Melting the coldness of my broken heart.
The wind blows all around me,
Caressing me with it’s cool fingers.
A lone cow lows mournfully in the distance,
Giving voice to my sorrow.