Under the Surface

I've been so busy lately, I haven't had a lot of time to let you all know about my inner workings. Between work, doctors appointments (one regular one, one pelvic ultrasound, and one blood test), art-making, time with April the neighbor, church, "my kids", and so on... I haven't even BEEN to the library this week, let alone stopped long enough to BLOG!


So what HAS been going on in my life??


Brittany (newest member of the Ohana) recommended a book to me, called Beauty for Ashes. I ordered it and then patiently waited for it to arrive... and in the meantime, I started to read Living Well With Anxiety, which turned out to be VERY VERY good so far! It talks about the symptoms and causes of anxiety disorders, the effects and side-effects of different types of anti-anxiety drugs... and the best thing?? It gives dietary advice for how to reduce your anxiety as much as you can by modifying your diet!!


So, Sunday I grabbed some veggies at Kroger, and have been trying to eat some kind of veggie with each meal. I also grabbed a discounted steak on Tuesday from Kroger, threw it in a skillet with tomatoes, mushrooms, onion, potatoes, and garlic sauce... OMW! So good!!! I had the rest of it last night with a salad... SO. TASTY.


Read some of a book called "An Adult Child's Guide to What's "Normal"- which I think will be really good... It is specifically geared for adult children of dysfunctional familes.


Also, when I got home from work, I found that my copy of Beauty for Ashes has ARRIVED!!!! I started to read it last night, and was surprised at how relevant it seemed to me... we'll see how it goes from here.


So, if you're wondering what's going on in the deep depths of me...

I'm learning that the feelings I have (inability to love deeply, walls around myself, problems with trust) are pretty normal for people in my situation... that other people have been where I am, and have healed, and have marriages that lasted and children that turned out relatively normal.... THERE IS HOPE!!!!!! (The thought of that makes me want to cry.)

I've discovered that unfinished art drives me INSANE!!!! It just stares at me from the table, taping it's fingernails on the table, saying "are you gonna finish me yet???" The green box I made was very disappointed in it's results, but when I tried to paint it black, it looked horrible... the green still showed through, and was kinda shiny, and the black paint was not shiny AT ALL... looked horrible. But, the box quietly suggested a coat of sparkly glitter paint, and he looks SO AWESOME now!!! The green is still shiny on him, and now the black is shiny too, and there are sparkles!

Now I just have to figure out how to appease the purple box... and life will be good. :o)