This weekend was my mommy's birthday! Saturday I packed up her new-old computer (my computer, which I replaced, but which is still way better than her old one), and headed to her house. We hung out as I replaced her computer, chatted about life, and made wedding plans.
And bonded.
Mom & I have always had a very complicated relationship. Before my parents divorced, I blamed my mom for staying with my dad. During their seperations, I blamed her for leaving him. After their divorced, I kind of blamed her for both. (But mainly for staying.) So, conversations with Mom were very strained... guilt for times I had lashed out at her in my anger... guilt on her part for the things I blamed her for... two very hurt people, trying to put those hurts aside and find some common ground. It's take a while, but slowly we've grown closer...
This weekend was a nice bonding time. We made our wedding plans, and talked a lot about the past...
My mom broke my heart when she said she didn't know how much she'd be able to help me, since she never had a real wedding... they just walked to the church across the street, with Mom not even having a wedding dress, and were married by my Grandpa. I think the only guests were my uncle Bob and his wife-for-the-moment Rita. All because my dad didn't want a real wedding... Mom & I cried together over this, and over how much we'd healed... and how I never expected to be able to have even the smallest healthy relationship... and now look! I'm ENGAGED! I have a RING!
*happy dance*
I also had deep discussions with the future M-I-L, about her husband, how he left God and then left her and her children, how she has never officially divorced him because she wanted him to have something to come back to when he came back to God... She broke my heart too. She's so loyal! Why did she end up with such a loser of a man?! Grr.
Anyway... healing is flowing in every direction, and I'm SO grateful for that.
8 comments:
that's so cool about you and your mom, how, after all these years, you are close. Mom and I are, um, I don't know how to put it.Anyway, have a good week!
I love how your happiness and marriage will bring two women such joy and healing. I'm especially excited that you will have a "mom" on your big day.
Happy post :) HUGS
delighted for you and your mom - my own relationship with mine was often strained (alcoholism) but I loved her dearly. Moms are special, glad you and yours are finding a road back together!
Alison, you'll get along MUCH better with your mom once you have a place of your own! LOL
Tammy the Warrior, I'm glad for that too!!!
Tammy V, Yeah... a road back together. I like how you put that.
I am very blessed to have my mom as my best-friend. We talk on the phone every single day, and it kills me that she is so far away.
I am so happy for you and your mom, let the healing begin.
So glad you and your mom were able to bond. I think there was some kind of party or something for your mom and dad cause I remember the two of them, and my mom saying they had just been married. Not much else other than I couldn't figure out why your mom was not dressed up.
Amy, I think she had a reception or some kind of party later. She got reception-ish gifts!
I'm glad that you and your mom are able to bond. I don't know if my mother and I will ever get to that point. It was okay for a while, but my husband never forgets the awful things she said to us when we got married... sigh. Life is always a struggle, a batlle with strong-willed people in my life. I keep trying though.
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