A Year Ago Today...

I found out that my Dad was not going to get any better. After days of sleeping at a hospital, worrying, wondering why he had two strokes when he was on blood thinners already... the doctors took us back to talk to us. They had a theory, that the Staph A and MRZA infections that Dad was battling were somehow lodged in his artificial heart valve, and sending blood clots to his brain.

I learned that as next of kin, the decisions regarding his care were up to me... less than a week before that time, my Dad had been independant, living alone, taking care of himself... now his fever was outrageous and unable to be lowered, his health was so bad that the doctors couldn't risk replacing his valve. I learned terms like Power of Attorney, chatted with a lawyer...

I had been without my Prozac since Friday... and refused to go home for it. I wanted to FEEL this... I wanted to be able to pray for my dad, talk to him, cry for him. I am SO glad I didn't take my Prozac that week.

I sat in a waiting room, chatting with two women who I will never forget. Both of their husbands were in the hospital, and both were staying in the ICU waiting rooms. One taught me how to crochet cute little hearts... one made me laugh. We worked a puzzle together... chatted a lot... they were SUCH a God-send. (Which, when a lady prayed for me at the start of Dad's ordeal, she had specifically prayed that God would send "Christian fellowship" to me as I waited. And although I don't really know the religions of everyone I met through the ordeal... the prayer was very effective. Without that, I would have cracked for sure.) We had become "hardcore" ICU waiters... handing out pillows and blankies to the "newbies", telling them where things were and how to work the phones...

I had learned how to successfully sponge-bathe in a hospital restroom. While visiting hours were done one day, I rushed to the dollar store and grabbed shower gel and a towel... and washed my hair in the bathroom sink and my body as well.

Note about Today: I'm doing surprisingly well at the moment... Friday I went on a crazy cleaning spree, and so Saturday we got to just relax and hang out here at home... playing Lego Star Wars and enjoying a visit from April the Neighbor. Yesterday we went to church and then to James's Aunt Clara's house... I got to see my NEICE!!!!! I have a NEICE!!!!!!!! She is a year old (long story about that) and absolutely adorable! She's not exactly sure how to feel about Aunt Jana, but I'm pretty sure that giving her food raised her opinion of me quite a bit lol Aunt Clara taught me how to make cavatini, I got to chat with my almost-sister-in-laws, we collaged and just hung out... altogether, I think everyone may be working to keep me busy? (And therefore distracted.)

I've talked to James about this week, and how I'll need his support... he's been great. Life now is good, and last year just seems like a horribly unreal nightmare.