Determined

The happy open mood has passed... a wave of depression followed it...

And now determination seems to be my current state of mind.

Months ago, I was eating oatmeal every day for breakfast at work, just like my boss and my coworker. I was really working to lower my cholesterol, and we were having fun finding new combinations of things to put in our oatmeal.

On April 3, out of the blue, I was told that I was not allowed to use the same microwave that the others used to make their oatmeal. I would have to get the measuring cup, bowl, etc all out of their break room and take it to the other break room... make my food... bring all of that back... eat my food... wash the dishes in "my" breakroom, and then return the dishes to theirs after they had dried. No explanation was given at all.

I searched and searched for a reason to not feel insulted by that and not take that personally... but I still haven't found one. It hurt me deeply, and I have not eaten oatmeal at all since that day. The thought of eating it makes me ill, thinking of how my boss thinks I'm just trash and not worthy to use the same microwave my coworker (in an equal position) uses. As a matter of fact, a few days later my boss bought a new kind of hot cereal for my coworker to try. Several times my coworker has asked why I no longer make oatmeal, and I've made excuses... and turned as tears rolled silently down my cheeks.

Today, I decided this was not going to happen anymore. With tears and anger flowing freely, I packed up my own #@&@ oatmeal into neat little baggies with cinnamom, sweetner, maple sugar, etc... a different concoction in each bag. (Despite the fact that the company buys it oatmeal for the others... If they are that crappy, I don't want to eat their stupid oatmeal anyway.) I brought my own #@&@ bowl, my own #@&@ measuring cup, and even my own #@&@ spoon!!!!!!!

I will no longer hurt my body because someone else has hurt me. If I have to use the low class breakroom, so be it... but I'm eating my oatmeal.