The war against seasonal depression continues to rage. I'm not sure if my life is more stressful than normal or if I am not handling it as well, but either way I'm struggling. Pondering going to the doctor for medication but not sure it is worth the risk of side effects, Yet,
In spite of all of the darkness, there is beauty hiding in the midst. Conversations that encourage me, traditions with friends, my favorite flavor of Smirnoff Ice (grape, yummy), warm chili made hotter with habenero hot sauce, cuddles with a baby, being claimed by small children as "MINE" and don't you dare say I belong to you instead, the bond with my cat mysteriously deepening, music set just for creating...
Life is good. Genuinely, amazingly, beautifully good. In the darkest of night, the bright lights sparkle all the brighter.
Darkness and Light
Darkness descends
I feel my way, depression a weight on my feet
I struggle, trying to peer through the darkness
My feet a vague shape in the black night
I trip, my hands dirty and cold from the mud
My clothes and skin torn by thorns I can't see
A moment of frustration,
I lift my head to curse at the heavens
And see a sky full of stars
The beauty of the heavens, there all the time
Hiding above my glance
3 comments:
I struggle with depression too. I have all of my life, and it is a daily battle. It isn't seasonal, as I struggle all year, and I actually love the winter and the feeling of hibernating and going within. I have many things I do to keep my spirits up - daily walks, yoga, journaling, painting, talking to friends, etc. But, I also take medication. Just a small dose, but it keeps my head above water just enough so I can find the strength to swim! I hope you get the help you need, and feel better! Did you write that poem? It is very good!
Yes Stacie, I'm trying some of the same things. I may try journaling... I always hate it but feel better after I'm done that day. Blogging is kind of my middle ground - writing in a way that I enjoy a little more.
At this point I'm not really feeling the need for medication, I've taken it before but I hate the process of trying out new meds to see if they do or don't work, side effects, etc. I know I won't be going back on the last one I was on, the side effects were pretty annoying to me - worse than the symptoms they treat.
I do write all the poetry on my blog, thanks! :) Glad you like them.
I know, it is a big decision to go on meds. There are so many side effects! I am happy that blogging works for you like journaling. One of the things I like about your blog is that it is a bit more personal than others I read. And I do love your poetry! I am a poet too.
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